


I Am Split

by talonyth



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-04 15:26:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't talk to me. Leave before it is too late. Before I hurt you. Because that's what I want. Leave quickly. I will crush you. I will rot and take you with me. Forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Split

Don’t talk to me, please, don’t… just don’t talk to me.

„Hey Saru, what’s up, man? What are you sitting here alone for? Come on, the others are already outside.“

Don’t. Leave. Go. Stop. 

„Hey, are you even listening to me?“

Yes, but I don’t want to. Leave. Go with them. You prefer them over anything… and anyone. What do you even care?

A hit on the wooden table, and it is loud, almost deafening. I didn’t flinch nor was I surprised about it, really. What is he getting so worked up over? I silently look up to him and find his face to be marked with anger. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t really have to anyway.

Don’t talk to me about them. I don’t want to. I don’t want to go… with any of them. I hate them. Each and everyone of them.

„Listen up, you goddamn monkey, I have no idea what’s up with you but you don’t just go ignoring me, you hear me?“

„I heard you“, I answer and sigh.

What’s the deal, though? Leave. Go. You don’t want me to go with you.

„Great, then come on, hurry or we’ll be left behind!“

„I don’t care“, I reply and lean back to see the reaction on his face. Oh it is just what I had expected.

„What are you even saying, do you listen to yourself speak? Quit this shit, and get going already, I came back here for you, okay?“, he says loudly, but in a much different manner than before. How amusing, is he trying to… console me?

„For me? Oh, how charming.“

What a joke this is. An utter joke that might have been funny to anyone…. except for me.

It makes me sick to hear that. So very sick that I feel my insides turn and twist eternally. I can’t help but laugh about that preposterous intent of making me tag along.

„What are you laughing at, huh? …What is even wrong with you, you’re so different today“, he says and it just adds to my laughter how desperate he sounded.

Everything is wrong. Every tiny thing is so wrong, so twisted, so… unfair.

I take a deep breath before I answer, again I feel everything toss and turn inside of me, they make me so sick. He makes me so sick.

„Nothing is wrong with me. Everything is just as right as it could be“, I reply and grin at him, in the most despective way I can think of.

What makes you so distressed? You never bother to ask me how I feel.

Another hit on the table, even louder than the one before. His posture changes, he is trembling in rage, his eyes filled with anything his tiny, little mind probably process. How sweet.

„Don’t fuck with me! We’re supposed to be friends, do you remember!? You…“

He breaths in and out and I am surprised that he considers calming down before speaking.

Oh, did I hit him?

„…We’re… friends, right?“, he repeats hollowly.

I hit him. Wonderful. Very, very wonderful.

„We’re all in this together.“

Of course, of course. We all of HOMRA are friends and a family and whatever shit you could get together. Oh please. Stop your talking.

Yet I keep quiet, I wouldn’t want to disrupt him in his pity and wailing. It is much too entertaining.

„You’re important to us, so… come along.“

Fuck off with your talk. You don’t understand shit about what’s going on.

…….But no, continue. You still have things to tell me, don’t you?

How twisted was my way of thinking already that I would contradict myself. It drives a smile to my lips, as malicious as it could be.

„What about you?“, I say mockingly. Not that I expect an answer. Not that I want one. I don’t. Why didn’t he leave? Why did he come back?

I don’t want to listen to what you tell me. I don’t. Leave. Go. You don’t need me.

„What’s that supposed to be now, huh? Some kind of drama shit because this is not funny, in case you didn’t notice! What do you mean with ‘What about you’, you know exactly what about me! You are my best friend, of course you matter to me, stop your fucking bullshit already and get your ass together because this makes me sick already!“

How blunt.

You have no idea how sick it makes me. Best friend, oh come on. Don’t make me laugh. It’s because we’re both here at HOMRA that you think I’m important.

You don’t understand.

You never will.

Stop talking.

You make my skin crawl in disgust.

„I matter, yes?“, I laugh. „Let me show you… how much you matter to me then.“

I stand up and pull him over to me. He is strong, but not stronger than me if I use my power and force right.

Why didn’t you leave? You didn’t have to see me like this.

He struggles and tries to push me back down but he doesn’t stand a chance. He never thinks before acting, what an idiot. Pure force isn’t able to stop someone… something like me.

„What are you doing, let go, monkey!“

Stop. Leave. Please.

Before I hurt you.

„Not yet. I need to make you see… how much you mean to me, too, after all…. right?“

I grin at him, I look down on him, I want to hurt him. To crush him with me.

I shove him down and bite his lip until it bleeds.

By then, he struggles so much that he manages to keep me away for a bit and I tumble backwards to lean against a table close by.

I want to hurt you. I want to see you cry and wither.

So much.

„What the fuck do you think you are doing!? What is wrong with you!?“, he shouts, straightening up again and wiping the blood off his face.

Why didn’t you leave earlier? Why do you bring me down so much? You turn me into a monster.

I just want you to be honest.

But you are not.

You aren’t.

I know that, better than you do.

Because how could you possibly think of me as your friend?

How could you like something like me?

What are you even thinking.

You make me so sick.

So very, very sick.

I want to break you. To destroy everything you are.

I want you to understand me.

Because you don’t.

You never will.

„Hey, Misaki…. don’t you understand yet? …Don’t worry, you will. I will make you understand.“

I’m going to crush you. Along with me.

You will see what I’ve become.

I will make you see.

Look at me.

Focus on me.

You wanted to see this, you came back earlier, you wanted to. You didn’t have to. 

This is your own fault.

You were the one who betrayed me first.


End file.
